Nothing Remains But The Sadness
Posted: Sunday, February 07, 2010
by Jack H. Schick
Maybe I should lock myself in a room, stop reading newspapers, stay off the Internet and turn off the TV. It seems like I'm starting to act like a fanatical reactionary. Sometimes my emotions get so yanked around by things I hear or read that I behave horribly. It's not good. I have to get a grip on my mental faculties. I have to slow down, weigh the evidence and form an opinion based on reason, not have knee-jerk emotional reactions.
Before school one morning last week, a high school principal hit a pedestrian student with her car at an intersection. She called for and ambulance and tended to the victim as best as she could until help arrived. The student suffered serious head injuries. It's a tragedy. There is a young person who possibly will never be the same, and a person responsible for the welfare of all the students to blame. I was sad for every one involved. I felt pity for the student, the parents, and the driver. I thought how I'd feel if I was in the same situation as any of them. I'm a parent. I've worked in schools. I thought about it, on and off, all day. I hoped the best for everyone. The accident was, of course, "still under investigation".
A few days later there was another article in the paper. The parents of the student are filing a law suit against the principal. Witnesses claimed the principal ran a red light and was speeding. The police would make no comment. The results of the investigation were being turned over to the District Attorney's Office for review. I got angry at the principal. I got angry at the school district. I thought about her salary, twice what mine is. I thought about my increased school taxes to pay for the new swimming pool and football field. I thought about the increased taxes coming to pay for teachers' pensions. "They're elitists who think they can do what ever they want," I griped. I hoped they arrested the principal and that the parents got a big settlement in court. I was burned up about it for days.
Then the third article came out. According to the investigation, the principal had a green light. She was driving about 20 miles an hour in a 15 mph zone, speeding perhaps, but.... For an instant I thought, "They're covering it up. They're going to let her get away with it. The little guy always loses." But then reason took over, finally. This is a big local story, Section B front page for each of the articles. The entire student body and faculty, all the parents and tax payers are watching closely. The D.A. is an elected official who is responsible to the electorate, not to the school district. Evidence shows it was simply a tragic accident. Somebody wasn't watching closely enough. Somebody couldn't stop quick enough. The truth is, sadly, it happens every day.
Then remorse and shame set in. I reviewed my anger and my desire that someone be severely punished. I revisited my feelings of distrust and my frustration over being a 'little guy'. I'd been like peasent at Frankinstein's castle carrying a torch and pitch fork. I'd acted like a Nazi youth on Crystal Night. That wasn't the real me. It couldn't be. I was being manipulated! It was the reporters' fault. They wanted me to react that way. It was the newspaper people who made me feel sad, then angry then ashamed. It wasn't my fault.
Now I was blaming someone else for my own emotional responses! "What is wrong with me?" I wondered. How many innocent people have suffered through out history because of the types of reactions I had this week? How many people have absolved themselves of blame by claiming "the devil made me do it", or "everyone else was doing it", or "it's the reporter's fault"?
After my week on an emotional roller coaster ride nothing remains but the sadness: sadness for the injured student and the parents, sadness for the principal who has to live with the memory and sadness because I responded the way I did. Maybe I should just lock myself in a room and pray for awhile.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Hi Jack. Good article. I see Sadness as not all bad, unless we become attached to it. Sadness sometimes points us in directions other than the beaten path. A wise man once said that being born insures suffering. But sadness itself is but an emotional reaction to simply "what is," and wishing we could change it instead of accepting it as reality. I think it is the sincere acceptance of human suffering as an undeniable fact that points to an eventual release from it.Best............eThanks for reading and commenting
Good article Jack!In USA there's still good level of Law abidance! In India if such a thing would have happened well the investigation would have probably dragged on for months altogether if not for years and not would have had bee made out of it !But do not be sad because life is a an ever changing entity and sadness will bog us down further !Thanks for reading
When I read this article, I thought of a lot of things I could say, but decided against saying them. Suffice it to say- Try not to tilt at so many windmills- you'll wear yourself plum out!--- Always-- EllaThanks for reading, commenting and the advise.
I know how it feels to get bogged down in obsessing about other people's tragedy, but it doesn't help you or anyone else.Thanks for reading and commenting.
This article is a great article because it talks about judging others. All it takes is a second for one little mistake to change your whole life. This principal might be a good person, but they just made a mistake.thanks for reading and commenting
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