Defining Moment: An Alcoholic Life
Posted: Sunday, September 25, 2011
by Jack H. Schick
I was married for about 2 ½ years when I graduated from college and we packed up and moved from Pittsburgh, PA, to Rawlins, Wyoming. I’d grown up in a small town in Bucks County, in southeast Pennsylvania. My wife was born and raised in Pittsburgh. Rawlins was a town of about 6,000 half way across the southern tier of the state on Interstate 80. It was (still is), on the edge of the Red Desert at an altitude of about 6,500 feet. It was to be a life altering experience. As I look back, I’d have to say that that move was the defining moment in my life.
It was a little bit of a struggle for us, considering we were both full time students. At least the up grade from a 2-S (student) draft deferment to a 1-M (married), saved me from experiencing Vietnam. My draft lottery number was pretty low—42. My parents continued to pay my tuition (Pitt was about $800 a year back then), and rent money; which they would have done anyway, if I was single. Her parents continued to give her the same spending money they had been, and paid her tuition. But, we were running a household now, so we both had to work, too.
She went to classes at the hospital from 8am to 4pm weekdays, and then worked on one of the floors as a nurse’s aide until 8pm. I had several part time jobs. Three days a week I hauled out trash from an apartment building early in the morning, then went to class. Between classes, from noon till 2pm, I worked as a bus boy in a restaurant near campus. I got a free meal on top of my pay. For a while I hiked about two miles across the city to clean-up then close a laundromat from 9pm till midnight. One winter I worked in the ski department at a downtown department store, spending a dollar on bus fare each day.
She graduated over a year before I did and immediately got a full time job as a nurse at the hospital. Back then, a Big Mac, a large fries and a small drink cost $1.04, including tax, so life was pretty good. We actually could afford to buy a car (from my grandmother), and rent a place to park it. But then, I graduated too—with a degree in English Literature. It didn’t seem right for me to consider graduate school with her working. We applied to the Peace Corps, but they usually didn’t take married couples.
We chose an American adventure instead. Wyoming was desperate for nurses in those days. We found and ad for the hospital in Rawlins. They hired her over the telephone. Our families were not real happy that we’d be moving 2/3 of the way across the country, but there wasn’t much they could do about it. We’d been married for several years and it was time to get on with life.
The hospital took good care of us. They had an apartment waiting with the first month’s rent paid. They called the personnel director at the nearby oil refinery, who was also on the board of directors of the hospital, and said “We have a nurse whose husband needs a job.” I was working there fulltime a week later, at a great pay rate. My grandmother’s car was in pretty bad shape by then. The bank wouldn’t lend us money until we’d been in town six months. The hospital called the bank president and a couple days later we were driving a brand new 4X4 Ford pick-up truck with loads of extras.
On our drive to Wyoming, we did some sightseeing, the Badlands, the Black Hills. We stayed a few days with my friend who was going to Colorado State at Fort Collins. We saw Rocky Mountain Park and climbed Longs Peak (14,254 ft). However, a friend of his from Wyoming told him, behind our backs, that we’d never make it in Rawlins as Easterners, that we were doomed. When my friend told us what he said, it made me mad, but when I look back, I realize that he was right.
I was never really accepted as one-of-the-guys at work. I had a college degree and I was an Easterner. I was tolerated to a point, and began to enjoy some of the activities they all participated in. I already was a fisherman and a hunter. They never told me the best spots, though. Over the years, I became pretty good at it, anyway. There was another activity men in Wyoming participated in to a great degree, and unfortunately I began to participate, as well. There was a high rate of excessive drinking. Half the guys I worked with drank heavily. Getting drunk was a badge of honor. Nearly every one I knew was earning them regularly.
I have a history of substance abuse in my family. I’ve learned to recognize that I have an addictive personality. I now found myself out on my own in the world for the first time, making great money, and in an environment where heavy drinking was normal in many circles. Within a year of moving to Rawlins, I was an alcoholic. Well, actually, an alcoholic is always an alcoholic, before he starts drinking, and after he quits. It's not an ailment that can be turned on and off.
Except for several short efforts at sobriety, I remained a heavy drinking alcoholic for the next 33 years. No aspect of my life was alcohol free. At first I thought my behavior was normal, then I thought it was not so bad. At times, I prayed for deliverance. At times I gave up and just accepted that it was my lot in life. Sometimes I asked for help, but never followed through. Every event, every story or anecdote I can tell about my life during all that time should, if the truth is told, be prefaced with the statement, “I was drunk the night before,” and concluded with the statement, “…and then I got drunk.”
I may very well have become a practicing alcoholic had I stayed near home. Maybe my family would have recognized it if they saw me a lot, and intervened; maybe not. Now that I am winning the battle over my demon, and see the world in a much clearer light, I believe that that friend of my friend in Fort Collins was right. Whatever circumstances combined to cause it, when I moved to Rawlins, Wyoming, I was doomed. It was a turning point in my life. The habits I picked up quickly there, defined the next 30 plus years of my life.
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More commentsGutsy article about your personal journey. Most of us have problems in our lives, sometimes major ones and sometimes others have no clue. My best to you in your journey.Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm fine, so far, thanks.
Interesting story about your life Jack. Thanks for sharingThanks for reading and commenting, David.
hi jack,
very interesting.
i, too, suffered alcoholism, as did my father, brother, cousin, uncle, nephew, sisters, grandfather, great grandfather, and so on.
i enjoyed your article, best of luck to you,
sueGood luck to you, too. As you know, the battle is never over, but we're winning right now.
I hope you keep winning the battle Jack. It takes guts to tell such a personal story.Thanks- I'll keep trying
Jack,
Now I fully understand your earlier comment about my article on lessons of gratitude sounding like AA.
One thing is for sure, you have shown great courage and for that you should be grateful. I am grateful that you have shared your story, a story that can help so many.
Keep fighting the battle,and you will remain victorious.
Thank you, Jack.
Dr.BraggThanks for reading and commenting
Comment above.
Dr.Braggtks
What matters the most, I think, is that you're winning the battle over your demon now, Jack. that's courageous. Thanks for sharing your story.Thanks for reading and commenting
Its great that you are able to talk about it and share it with us.Thanks for reading and commenting, Maxine
Having worn a pair of alcoholic boots myself, it is very easy to relate to your touching story. You have obviously come a long way, and should be very proud of that fact. Some of the best Writers I have had the privilege of reading have been alcoholics, or overcome some incredible demons. You fall among their ranks sir, you are an incredibly gifted Writer. Nice to meet you! JodyWow, thanks! I blush.
A defining and gutsy honest article. Bravo Jack. Hope others can see the light that you are sharing so graciously.Thanks! always good to see your photo. I feel like a friendThanks, It's always good to see your face. I feel like a friend.
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