A Fabulous Ending to the Story
Posted: Thursday, November 03, 2011
by Jack H. Schick
I have, what many consider to be, a fabulous memory. I often say, “I’m cursed (or blessed), with a gift. I remember almost everything I read, and I read a lot.” A great memory is a two edged sword, though. It may make me seem smart. It may help me to do well on tests. It may make me the trivia guy everybody hunts down when they want to know something, the Cash Cab call-out guy; but, it also means I can remember all the stupid, cruel and morally questionable things I’ve ever done.
As a member of the International Optimists youth service club, I had to recite the creed before every meeting. Part of it was: “Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievement in the future.” I do not forget those mistakes. I may press on, but I still remember the mistakes and rue them. As a recovering 12 stepper, I’m asked to make amends, to clean up the wreckage I've left behind then move on, to forget the horror and to face the new world, liberated, one day at a time. I do not forget, though. Images of that wreckage, no matter how well I’ve tried to clean it up, still haunt me. I pound my fists and tear my hair over memories of my behavior and the wasted time.
Oh the pleasures of an alcoholic black out; unfortunately, I never had one. I am cursed to remember details of every embarrassing episode. But now, sober, I realize more intensly the cruelty and the insanity of it all. I relive the moments and hate them, hate me for creating them. Why, I frequently ask, can I not be spared the memories? As the mind clears, the memory clears. As the spirit develops the recognition of right and wrong intensifies. “I was drunk,” could always be the excuse, but it can be no more. And now, that excuse seems so selfish and shallow.
But, what really may be fabulous is that I am still alive, can still think, can still remember--the good and the bad. What may be the most fabulous thing of all is the new world in which I live and the bright horizon that lies ahead. They never say recovered, but recovering. The story doesn’t end until I die. If I remember correctly, and I usually do, the book must be read as a whole. What happens in the early chapters merely prepares us for the fabulous ending.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)My memory is good too Jack, I amaze people with my memory.Thanks for reading and commenting
There is an old joke: I have a photographic memory. But no flim in the camera. I used to have a better memory. I still remember moments of shame, and choices I which I'd made differently. I guess a fabulous memory would be a blessing and a curse. Good writing. ThanksThanks for reading and commenting
Great job....I can't even remember this weeks assignment for writing, but I can double up on the Ginko.Thanks for reading and commenting
omg
i've traveled that road, and still do.
best of luck to you always,
sueThanks for reading and commenting
Don't forget to mention that past relationships remember general outlines, while you remember every little detail. This is the worst and makes me feel as if no one cares about things as much as I do. Otherwise, they'd remember it, right?Yes- I know exactly what you mean. Don't let it bother you too much. Peace be with you.
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