Yogurt "Tainting" Called Illogical
Posted: Sunday, November 06, 2011
by Jack H. Schick
A couple of years ago I developed a taste for yogurt. As a younger person, for reasons I don’t really understand, I couldn’t stand it. The texture, the taste, the ideas it was produced by bacterial action all might have contributed to my refusal to eat it. I’ve noticed there are a lot of things like that. As a kid or young adult I wouldn’t touch it. Now it’s okay, or even in some cases I enjoy it. Peanut butter is one; spaghetti and broccoli are a couple of others. I particularly like yogurt with fruit in it, or the key lime green stuff. I’m sort of ticked off that Joseph Bartorillo has kind of soured my taste buds for the healthy, tasty food again.
Because of the possibility of product poisoning, the FBI became involved. The next time the girls got a bad batch, tests were run on the suspect yogurt. It was determined that an alien substance had been injected into the containers with a hypodermic needle. It was human semen. It is not said how Joe became a suspect, but after further testing the “contamination” matched his DNA. He was charged with two counts of stalking and 13 counts of indecent assault. He was also charged by federal authorities for tampering with a consumer product.
Wyoming County District Attorney Jeff Mitchell said, “I have never seen a situation like this before,” (for which we are grateful). He said that Mr. Bartorillo is a veteran employee and has no criminal record. There is no record of any sexual fetishes or other psychological conditions. His computer was seized but no relevant information was found there.
Alex Fried, spokesman at the Procter & Gamble said that Bartorillo is no longer an employee (surprise!). He said that “As soon as we were made aware of it, we investigated.” He emphasizes that no P&G products were contaminated. Bartorillo had very little contact with the women in question and was involved in no personnel situations. No motive for the crime has been determined. Fried would not say how Mr. Bartorillo was caught.
The disturbed yogurt eating populous can relax, though. U.S. Attorney Peter Smith noted that all of the ‘tainted’ containers were recovered and the public was in no danger. He said in a news release that all the contaminated ‘specimens’ had been exclusively “in the possession of a limited and known number of people.”
Joseph Bartorillo’s attorney, Demetrius Fannick said there is “no logical reason” for his client ‘tainting’ fellow workers’ yogurt with his own semen. “It’s a very bizarre case,” he admitted. “I don’t think even he knows why he did it. There was no vendetta, no hatred between them. I don’t really believe there was a reason.” Fannick said that Bartorillo is “very, very remorseful and is trying to figure it out.” He added, ‘His wife is still behind him and supporting him.”
Bartorillo reached a pleas agreement with prosecuters that calls for a two-year federal prison sentence and a possible fine not to exceed $250,000. The defendant remained quite throughout the hearing. He repeatedly confirmed that he understood the consequences of his plea agreement. About 30 minutes into the hearing Bartorillo admitted his guilt. He was released on his own recognizance, provided he continues the mental health treatment that began after he was charged. U.S. District Judge Richard Conaboy could reject the plea agreement and Bartorillo could face up to ten years in prison.
My wife encountered a yogurt sale at the grocery store yesterday. She came home with a whole bag full. She was all excited about the bargain she’d gotten and was a little disappointed with the look on my face. I used to like the ones that are vanilla and have cherries on the bottom. She got about ten of them. I looked over every one of them for pin holes. I just can’t do it. I might not be able to eat yogurt for quite some time.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Why? Why did you do it, Jack? Now I won't be able to eat yogurt, and I need the good bacteria. My husband told me a story about a guy who worked at a place that made buttermilk, so I gave it up years ago. Why? Are you guys morbid? or gleeful at ruining my chance at something healthy?? YUK! Now, I'll have to start making homemade yogurt!Sorry elle. It got to me too.
Ugh, ugh, totally beyond gross!!!!
Since I don't work at P&G and my yogurt is only in my refrigerator, I'm still gonna eat my Honey Greek yogurt with granola! :)Thanks for reading and commenting--sorry, I couldn't let that new item pass.
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