Relax: Listen to the Background Music
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2012
by Jack H. Schick
I have ringing in my ears. Well, it’s not really ‘ringing.’ It’s hard to describe the sound I hear; a buzzing, a hissing, a metallic humming. It’s tinnitus, which is defined as a “subjective or pathological sensation in the ears.” It’s a constant tone but varies in intensity. It never goes away. It’s always there in the background, buzzing away like the “background noise” of the universe that’s left over from the Big Bang. Appropriately, I have it because of big bangs; because of gunfire, because of not protecting my ears as a kid while target shooting, and because of decades of discharging high powered shotguns and rifles while hunting.
At first I wondered why I didn’t suffer more stress over the constant background ‘buzz.’ I imagined someone producing an external sound like that. I’m pretty sure I’d go nuts quickly, or at least have the urge to beat up somebody. On the other hand, a steady droning noise often calms me, can lull me to sleep. I got thinking, maybe since I’m stuck with having to hear it all the time, that’s the way I’ve adapted to it. Maybe I’ve subconsciously accepted it as a safe and comfortable sound. Maybe it relieves tension rather than creates it and actually helps me to relax. I hope so, because I imagine I’ll continue to hear it, even after I’m completely deaf. After all, it is only a “subjective sensation,” and not a real sound.
I’m a relaxed sort of fellow. One personality characteristic a lot of people tell me I have is composure. I seldom get excited or riled up. In crisis situations at work, I’m one of the supervisors the guys claim they’d rather have around. I don’t over react. I remain calm and logical, address problems with reason and confidence. Nothing exacerbates a situation more than having the person in charge red faced and panicked--which is way too common around here.
I didn’t really notice that tendency on my part until it was pointed out. I began to pay attention to my thought process while in a ‘panic’ situation--which also is way too common around here. I found that my mind works at an extra high speed under pressure and in abnormal situations. I envision possibilities, potentials and mentally leap out in front of the action to anticipate and speculate future events. “If this happens, then that will happen.” “If we do this, it will prevent that,” etc. It all happens in an instant. After I’ve processed and ‘experienced’ the possible scenarios, I issue instructions and relax. There is nothing more that can be done, so why get excited?
In most cases, rest and relaxation are important for mental and physical health. What precisely R&R is, is difficult to say, though. It varies from person to person. Some would say clearing their mind and meditating relaxes them. Some would say, strenuous exercise and the exhausted euphoria that follows is relaxing. Others believe an absence of mental and physical exercise is best to achieve relaxation. I’ve experienced them all. There seems to be one common denominator. People are seldom relaxed unless they are involved in an activity that makes them happy.
I like to meditate. It’s the main reason I love Quaker Meetings for Worship so much. However, my mind is seldom blank (don’t forget that background noise. I tend to ‘heard’ it more clearly when it’s quiet and my mind is still). My meditations are definitely relaxing, but it takes a strenuous mental exercise to achieve an affective psychological state. It’s wonderful when I reach the Light, but I’ve begun to think it’s the mental activity that really makes me happy.
I’ve achieved the euphoria that physical activity produces, but I’ve come to believe that the temporary state is cause by chemicals (and when my heart rate is up, that background noise is more intense and louder). Since I’m getting older and my knees and back hurt a lot, I’m wondering if maybe I should just ingest chemicals to reach that frame of mind. During walks, or tread mill activities, my mind is going a mile a minute, so really, that happiness comes from my ability to just let my mind work and wander. I love skiing and do it fast and hard. During a down hill run my mind is intensely focused, rapidly taking in information, like “patch of ice ahead,” and quickly responds. So, again, it’s a mental activity that makes me happy.
I’ve lain around doing nothing a lot, too. I can’t say it relaxes me. I always feel like I’m wasting something (and I tend to listen to the ‘noise’ more). One day, after work I was lounging on the recliner in the living room with a magazine in my lap and the television on. I was feeling pretty relaxed. I was physically comfortable. I was reading an article on the Boer War and was watching a news report on the European economy. My mind had drifted off to Winston Churchill, who was involved in both. Two of the kids were hassling over some toy in the bedroom and my wife was yakking at me from the kitchen.
Suddenly, my wife popped her head in and said, “You haven’t heard a work I’ve said, have you?”
I quickly repeated back to her the last two sentences she’d said, hollered in at the kids to learn to share their toys, told her about Bulgaria going broke, told her a little about the Dutch in South Africa during the Boer War and asked her a question about Churchill.
She glared at me and said, “Why don’t you get up and go do something.”
“Come on. I worked all day,” I argued. “I need some time to relax.”
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)So far you seem fine, and from all accounts your writing is excellent, so I don't think the noise has done any damage.
Excellent. I enjoy hearing about Quaker Meetings. Do not really have a good picture of what they are like. Good writing as usual.Thanks for reading and commenting. I'll have to find some description of a Meeting to send.
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